Throughout my professional life I have met hundreds of families who tell me “yes, I told them that something was not going well, but since they told me that it was too soon and we had to wait, well, I waited.” Or the typical phrase of “something didn’t sound good to me, but everyone told me that it was too small and it would mature.”
Well, I’m going to reveal a mystery to you: CHILDREN ARE NOT MANGOES THAT MATURE IN THE SUN. It seems like a lie, doesn’t it? Who could have said it? Well no, they are not. And I tell you more, the maturation process of a child is somewhat more complex than that of a mango (without discrediting the magician with how rich he is)
Let’s get clear. Throughout history, countless scientists, some very very good, have dedicated much of their professional lives to establishing what we call evolutionary milestones. That is, the phases that all children go through more or less at the same time in life.
These evolutionary milestones, which are not closed numbers by any means, but are established by ranges, are the guide that all professionals use (or should use) to establish when a child is developing as expected or is outside of that. range and it is necessary to monitor or pay special attention to find out what is happening.
So, if a child is not able to sit up at 5 months, nothing happens even if his neighbor already does it, but if he is not able to do it at 12 months, then it is a problem and we must address it and find out what is happening.
No one will ask a 9-month-old baby to walk alone (although some can do it), but when this child is already 18 months old.
And so with each stage of growth. All 9-month-old babies babble (others produce high-frequency words). Everyone, at a year and a half, should drink alone from a cup (although some have started doing it earlier).
These types of milestones are those that show us the path either to stimulate, to observe, or to intervene. And everything must happen in due time. The baby who did it all before is not “smarter”, because maybe because he did it before, he won’t be able to consolidate it and at some point it will work against him.
In this amazing reality that I mentioned before about babies being beings more complex than mangoes, it turns out that the maturation, development and learning of the baby is very complex and it is evident that – although sometimes as parents it causes us headaches, especially for the wonderful 2 years – the child is part of that development, he is an agent of change, he is analytical, he generates hypotheses with those opportunities that we offer him.
So NO. If there is something that catches your attention, that you sense is happening late or not moving forward, don’t settle for “it will happen.” Don’t put it in the sun and don’t sit and wait. Consult, ask, analyze the information they offer you and once you are convinced, sit down and sunbathe.